Life Lessons by my mum

Things my mother taught me (but yours might not have)

• Wear clean underwear when you go out.  Anywhere.

• Keep your bathroom clean.  Always.  You never know who might drop by.

• Be nice.  Especially to those dirty people. (just kidding!  She told be to walk fast by the dirty people- being nice sounds better).

• Stick nothing anywhere that you can't tell me about. (that one was for peas and beans in ears I think- but still applies!)
  

• Elbows off the table.
  

• Even if you don't think you have to go to the bathroom- try.  You might be surprised.

• Love with all your heart.

• Try everything once.  You only have to try it once to know if it's for you.
  

• Learn to do everything for yourself.  (this is why I have a toolbag and a drill and several scars)
  

• It's probably better than you think.  

• Why not?

• If you're not five minutes early you're late.

• There's always tomorrow.

• Learn how to cook.  Cooking shares your love with family and friends and brings hours of quiet happiness.

• Kitchen gadgets are A-mazing.  Gather them around you like diamonds... (I do and she still sends her 'best' gathered ones too!)

• Crow isn't just a bird, it's also for eating.

• Good stuff can be old or new, used or found- and comes in many forms and packages.

• Get excited about the small stuff too.  Sometimes the small stuff really is the best stuff.

• All that glitters will not pay the rent.

• If it looks like shit and it smells like shit then sometimes you've gotta dig for the horse.

• Do good things for other people unexpectedly.

• 'Buy cheap, pay twice'.

• 'Touch the brakes like you touch your breasts.  'Lightly, little pressure. little pressure.  No stomping, my neck can't take it'. 

• Do nice things for yourself.  Wear good fabrics, make-up and knickers.

• Don't try to colour your own hair.  It's only going to end in green.

• Feel blessed for the people you have in your life, they love you.

...and always have a spare roll by the loo.

Now, If you need any further instruction then go here and have a laugh!- but know that it's the only right way- the true way is over, not under.

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